Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
