In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
