My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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