would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
