I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize