walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
