His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
zippers are such a cool invention
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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