wat bout pragnant strippers??
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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