You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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