I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
