she was so not down for the gang bang
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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