she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm really busy with my period
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