Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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