So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
