Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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