you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
