Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
