Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
