Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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