the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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