First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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