how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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