I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Less talking, more tequila
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
