it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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