Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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