He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
