why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
