i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
