Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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