so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
