I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.