Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize