Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
