i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
