thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
