There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The power of my boobs compel you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
