Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
