I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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