New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
