I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize