He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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