I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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