he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
