guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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