Whod you bang
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
