Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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