I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
