I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
