I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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