I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
