so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
barbara walters just said penis...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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