the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want a musical about memes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
