CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
