it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
