He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just invented taco cereal.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
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I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..