of course. lets lasso hookers.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Watching her eat just hurts me
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.