Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone