if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.