"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
