Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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