I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
