So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
