I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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