I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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