Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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